‘Cause if this dough is fake I’m gonna hafta give you the Broderick, see?

4 Jan

Picture this: you’re out to dinner with some friends. When the check arrives at your table it becomes apparent that you have the highest-denomination bills in the party. It makes sense that you pay, and everyone else give you their share of the total in cash. But how do you know that their money is legit?

That’s when you whip out the Counterfeit Currency Detector Pen with Adhesive Holder, Black Barrel MMF200035204. Quickly flipping through the bills, you mark each one with the pen. If the mark is amber-colored, the money’s good. If it turns black, your pals are passing you some bad lettuce.

Reassure your friends that you trust them completely; but because – unlike you – they aren’t armed with the Counterfeit Currency Detector Pen (with Adhesive Holder, Black Barrel), they have no way to protect themselves from being easy marks for some fakeloo artist.

If they ask why you’re suddenly talking like a character from a Philip Marlowe novel, change the subject, perhaps by threatening to stab them.

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3 Responses to “‘Cause if this dough is fake I’m gonna hafta give you the Broderick, see?”

  1. Never teh bride January 4, 2006 at 3:11 pm #

    what is SCOPE???

  2. Wade Rockett January 4, 2006 at 4:20 pm #

    Las Vegas native James Reza started SCOPE in 1992 as a local arts, culture and lifestyle magazine at a time when the idea of Vegas having arts and culture was crazy. The contributors were 20-something Vegas residents (or expats like me) who were bored and frustrated with the city’s inability to support a worthwhile alternative scene. A lot of other people took up the cause at around the same time, and eventually were able to make something of a difference. The Man bought SCOPE in 1998 and turned it into the Las Vegas Weekly.

  3. facty January 5, 2006 at 9:45 am #

    Dear Sir,

    It was just this morning and I was brunchin with the ladies of the PTA. I had no cash, only my credit card, and everyone gave me cash for their meal just in the manner you described.

    Lucky for me I had read your post last night and had my trusty Counterfeit Currency Detector Pen with Adhesive Holder (though I bought the more ladylike Pink Barrel). Turns out Jason’s mom had slipped me a Hannilton instead of a Hammilton.

    The other ladies were kind enough to hold her in the alley while I administered a solid Brodericking.

    Thank you again for your informative post.

    factually,
    facty

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