Marketing definitions

This has been making the rounds at work:

Direct Marketing
You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, “I’m fantastic in bed.”

Advertising
You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, “She’s fantastic in bed.”

Telemarketing
You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, “Hi, I’m fantastic in bed.”

Public Relations
You see a handsome guy at a party. You get up and straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, “May I?” and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, “By the way, I’m fantastic in bed.”

Sales
You see a handsome guy at a party. You talk him into going home with your friend.

Spam
You’re on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you’re passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center and shout at the top of your lungs, “I’m fantastic in bed!”

Analyst Relations
You see a handsome guy at a party. A bunch of experts tells him that you’re fantastic in bed, but performance is likely to decline by 50% in 3 years.

Customer Advocacy
A handsome guy sees you at a party. His friends tell him how fantastic you are in bed.

Brand Recognition
You see a handsome guy at a party. He walks up to you and says, “I hear you’re fantastic in bed.”